We have now been home 11 weeks.
Complete lifestyle change. And even though it will get better from here, things are still permanently changed.
I can't look at the entire picture all at once as it's overwhelming. I have to take it day by day sometimes hour by hour.
I don't know what's next and sometimes I don't have the answer. But I have to keep going. I don't get sick days, hurt days, simply taking off for pleasure, all of that is gone. I've had to give up work for the time being in order to do this full time. And for now there is no break, not even for an hour. It's constant.
Everything I had in me was tested early on, so now I feel more confident with what I am doing. Now that Ricky has come so very far and needs very few medical things done to him, it's eased up some.
Still have hard nights where I am up all night and day.
Empathy
That's the key
My position is bad. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes.
What keeps me going........
We will get through this like we have everything else for the past 24 years we just need help from our friends and family with this kind of trauma. It's beyond anything one person can do.
People call me superwoman, a saint, an angel...... I'm none of those. This is what I am supposed to do. Ricky took care of me for 24 years and now it's time for me to take care of him.
It's difficult on both of us emotionally... A lot of late night talks.
There's grief as our entire lives have changed and some things we won't be able to do anymore. Hard to accept at times. Cannot dwell have to just keep going.
Staying positive and having a lot of support from family and friends is what has gotten us this far. Thank you everyone for all of your help. We appreciate you all!! xoxoxo
Monday, July 25, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Never ceases to amaze me!
Wow ~ not sure where to start since my last post.
I could probably touch on each aspect of it and it would turn into a book.
Primary care physician appointment was awful. It wasn't transportations fault either. I've never had a four hour doctors visit where the doctor spent a total of about 20 minutes with me. And he has a spinal cord injury!! My doctor spends 30 minutes with me and I have an anxiety disorder not a SCI.
Not going to touch on all of the details and dwell, have to move on and get him in with my doctor so he can get the right care.
Second appt with his lung doctor went excellent! He really doesn't need to see her anymore but she's keeping us until we can get out of that awful Gainesville system. 🙏
She was also one of his doctors in the hospital and she knows him. Thankful for that.
Today he had occupational therapy and physical therapy. He exceeded each ones expectations. PT finally confirmed that his injury is incomplete as he has sensation below the waist. 👏🙏
Issue is the wheelchair now. Was ordered nine weeks ago said six weeks it would be here...... It's not here yet. Another long story.
We still have rough days and nights because he likes to stay awake and fight all of his meds in order to talk non stop for three or four days. Exhausting for me.
I told his lung doctor and she prescribed what worked on him in the hospital.
He's finally not fighting it. He has to have rest in order to heal. And as he says he's not one to rest. So this has been a tough process already. And it's just the beginning.
One positive thing he said after the last therapist left was "I'm excited about our new journey"
Made me smile 😊
Thank you again to everyone for all of your support. Speechless and there's not enough words to express my thanks to all of you! We love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxo
I could probably touch on each aspect of it and it would turn into a book.
Primary care physician appointment was awful. It wasn't transportations fault either. I've never had a four hour doctors visit where the doctor spent a total of about 20 minutes with me. And he has a spinal cord injury!! My doctor spends 30 minutes with me and I have an anxiety disorder not a SCI.
Not going to touch on all of the details and dwell, have to move on and get him in with my doctor so he can get the right care.
Second appt with his lung doctor went excellent! He really doesn't need to see her anymore but she's keeping us until we can get out of that awful Gainesville system. 🙏
She was also one of his doctors in the hospital and she knows him. Thankful for that.
Today he had occupational therapy and physical therapy. He exceeded each ones expectations. PT finally confirmed that his injury is incomplete as he has sensation below the waist. 👏🙏
Issue is the wheelchair now. Was ordered nine weeks ago said six weeks it would be here...... It's not here yet. Another long story.
We still have rough days and nights because he likes to stay awake and fight all of his meds in order to talk non stop for three or four days. Exhausting for me.
I told his lung doctor and she prescribed what worked on him in the hospital.
He's finally not fighting it. He has to have rest in order to heal. And as he says he's not one to rest. So this has been a tough process already. And it's just the beginning.
One positive thing he said after the last therapist left was "I'm excited about our new journey"
Made me smile 😊
Thank you again to everyone for all of your support. Speechless and there's not enough words to express my thanks to all of you! We love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxo
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Busy weekend! 💜
Wow! What a weekend! Ricky had plenty of visitors this weekend. Including his daughter and new grandbaby Hatch!
Best baby ever. So chill! Love him to death already!
Thanks Mom for coming by and bringing more supplies and some soft food for Ricky to eat. That will help him a lot!
Special thanks to my moms neighbors Frank and Judy as their loving donations have helped immensely!
Thanks to my moms friend Lynda for contributing to our cause. Words can't express our appreciation.
Thanks to my brother for calling every month to inquire about my bills and take some of that load off of me 🙏
Thank you so much Brandi for guiding me through this process and for STILL helping me advocate for Ricky's medical care.
Also my Aunt Janis and Julee for the monetary support, support with supplies and of course emotional support! You guys have been great!
Thanks Debbie (with Premier) for your donation it will help me greatly! You're one of a kind!
Thanks Michelle for contacting the angels group and for all of the support I have received from them! And thank you for getting my grandbaby a gift. I so want to spoil this baby and I don't have the means or the way right now. Thanks to my mother for that also and all of the diapers you brought for Hatch! He will need them 😉😉
Thank you to everyone who has donated to his go fund me account so far! He will need additional medical supplies for a long while that insurance will not cover and this will help me pay for it.
Thank you Andrea and Robby for making the trip here so Ricky could meet his new grandson! What an awesomely memorable visit! (Thanks for the techy gadget for Ricky too! It will help him a lot down the road)
After having baby love all weekend and all of the outpouring of love from everyone, I'm overwhelmed with happiness for a change!
Still have to continue to fight for Ricky's care but this will help me survive and take care of Ricky until he's has gotten a lot better.
Ricky continues to improve daily and I see all of the baby steps he is making on his own I can't imagine what he could do with therapy!!! He would probably be walking by now he's so determined.
He just wants to get up out of bed. Now the hold up is his chair which has not been delivered.
He is off of bed rest so PT and OT should start coming out but kind of need his chair for sitting up purposes....smh @ this system I am dealing with. The frustration continues and I don't expect it to let up any time soon 😞
I really miss having a life but if I have to give it up for a few years to get Ricky back to full health then it is more than worth it!
I have my down days and my up days, as does he. If he can keep going so can I! Rolling with it as always but have my work cut out for me this week starting with a doctors appointment on Monday with his primary care physician. I so hope this goes well 🙏🙏. Especially with transport as I had to use the company that is not reliable to transport him this time. Love med port and wish they could take us everywhere. But they can't.... I just have to call and see if they "have a contract with the facility" before I can choose companies. Dis like using the one I'm using Monday just hope we don't get left there for four hours again. That was not fun.
Oh yeah I have a sitter for next week so no worries about that anymore! I can get some things done on the outside world thanks to my mom and nephews!
Some things pop up that are needed and unexpected like I need a bigger AC unit for the room we stay in, the one we have is too small and with this heat it just is not cutting it so I'll need to buy a new one soon. These donations will all be going to help Ricky's progress, keep him clean and comfortable, possibly keep me sane, and get him back to full health.
I have written some thank you cards, I have mailed some, and some I have yet to write but just know everyone they are coming as I greatly appreciate everyone's help because I cannot do this alone!!! 💜 xoxoxo
Ricky's donation page:
https://www.gofundme.com/2a4dvu4
Best baby ever. So chill! Love him to death already!
Thanks Mom for coming by and bringing more supplies and some soft food for Ricky to eat. That will help him a lot!
Special thanks to my moms neighbors Frank and Judy as their loving donations have helped immensely!
Thanks to my moms friend Lynda for contributing to our cause. Words can't express our appreciation.
Thanks to my brother for calling every month to inquire about my bills and take some of that load off of me 🙏
Thank you so much Brandi for guiding me through this process and for STILL helping me advocate for Ricky's medical care.
Also my Aunt Janis and Julee for the monetary support, support with supplies and of course emotional support! You guys have been great!
Thanks Debbie (with Premier) for your donation it will help me greatly! You're one of a kind!
Thanks Michelle for contacting the angels group and for all of the support I have received from them! And thank you for getting my grandbaby a gift. I so want to spoil this baby and I don't have the means or the way right now. Thanks to my mother for that also and all of the diapers you brought for Hatch! He will need them 😉😉
Thank you to everyone who has donated to his go fund me account so far! He will need additional medical supplies for a long while that insurance will not cover and this will help me pay for it.
Thank you Andrea and Robby for making the trip here so Ricky could meet his new grandson! What an awesomely memorable visit! (Thanks for the techy gadget for Ricky too! It will help him a lot down the road)
After having baby love all weekend and all of the outpouring of love from everyone, I'm overwhelmed with happiness for a change!
Still have to continue to fight for Ricky's care but this will help me survive and take care of Ricky until he's has gotten a lot better.
Ricky continues to improve daily and I see all of the baby steps he is making on his own I can't imagine what he could do with therapy!!! He would probably be walking by now he's so determined.
He just wants to get up out of bed. Now the hold up is his chair which has not been delivered.
He is off of bed rest so PT and OT should start coming out but kind of need his chair for sitting up purposes....smh @ this system I am dealing with. The frustration continues and I don't expect it to let up any time soon 😞
I really miss having a life but if I have to give it up for a few years to get Ricky back to full health then it is more than worth it!
I have my down days and my up days, as does he. If he can keep going so can I! Rolling with it as always but have my work cut out for me this week starting with a doctors appointment on Monday with his primary care physician. I so hope this goes well 🙏🙏. Especially with transport as I had to use the company that is not reliable to transport him this time. Love med port and wish they could take us everywhere. But they can't.... I just have to call and see if they "have a contract with the facility" before I can choose companies. Dis like using the one I'm using Monday just hope we don't get left there for four hours again. That was not fun.
Oh yeah I have a sitter for next week so no worries about that anymore! I can get some things done on the outside world thanks to my mom and nephews!
Some things pop up that are needed and unexpected like I need a bigger AC unit for the room we stay in, the one we have is too small and with this heat it just is not cutting it so I'll need to buy a new one soon. These donations will all be going to help Ricky's progress, keep him clean and comfortable, possibly keep me sane, and get him back to full health.
I have written some thank you cards, I have mailed some, and some I have yet to write but just know everyone they are coming as I greatly appreciate everyone's help because I cannot do this alone!!! 💜 xoxoxo
Ricky's donation page:
https://www.gofundme.com/2a4dvu4
Sunday, June 26, 2016
No sleep! 😱😱😱😱😱
Ugh two hours of sleep last night. I will be a zombie today...
Ricky's stubbornness kept us both awake all night.
I have no idea how someone fights sleep over medication. Beyond me but he does. Then it becomes an awful night of imaginary construction work and planning various things throughout the night. 😞
So up at 5:30am to feed him and give him meds and decided to knock out a few loads of laundry for the day too! Now I have to lay back down or I won't make it through the day! Love weekends....not!!!
This has to get better from here! I can't lose my hope or faith this early on.
So I will keep going and advocate for Ricky's health and quality of life as I have been doing.
Things will get better !!!! 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
Ricky's stubbornness kept us both awake all night.
I have no idea how someone fights sleep over medication. Beyond me but he does. Then it becomes an awful night of imaginary construction work and planning various things throughout the night. 😞
So up at 5:30am to feed him and give him meds and decided to knock out a few loads of laundry for the day too! Now I have to lay back down or I won't make it through the day! Love weekends....not!!!
This has to get better from here! I can't lose my hope or faith this early on.
So I will keep going and advocate for Ricky's health and quality of life as I have been doing.
Things will get better !!!! 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
Friday, June 24, 2016
Life can change in an instant! Cherish your loved ones ❤️❤️
My big heart and sixth sense are my nemesis right now. 💔
This is not only tearing me apart inside but it is still hard for me to accept. That my life is over. Done.
I never had kids so I don't know what this is like & it scares me to death.
I've been home for almost seven weeks and I haven't been out of a five mile radius since then.
I wasn't thinking of myself when this happened .. Who does?
Now it's sinking in. I really have no life now. Everything is centered around Ricky (for good reason) and I've slowly disappeared into the background.
I can be both. An introvert and an extrovert. But I like to choose. Not be told what to do. And at the moment I am being forced because I have no other choice.
You can't have friends because you can't keep up your end of the relationship. You can't go anywhere therefore no socializing at all.
I like privacy but didn't want to be a hermit....how I feel right now.
Plus the inevitable happened and I strained my back. Has to be from leaning over ... Normally how I hurt it... That's all we need.
We have no choice except for to roll with it. And that's what we do.
Oh! I desperately need someone to sit with Ricky for like an hour or two a week so I can get everything done in the "outside world"..... I don't need much time away and I wouldn't ever leave anyone with medical things to do on him. All you would have to do is talk to him if he's Chatty Cathy or he sleeps a lot so you can even take a nap.
Anyway let me know if anyone can help me out text me, email me or FB message me. Thanks in advance.
My list keeps getting longer 😱......
As always thanks everyone for the support and the donations. Both are much needed right now, & there aren't enough words to express our appreciation! 😍❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxoxo
https://www.gofundme.com/2a4dvu4
To help follow the link above. And please feel free to share the link. I desperately need the help right now. 😘😘
Thank all of youuuuuuuuu!! 💜💜💜 xoxo
This is not only tearing me apart inside but it is still hard for me to accept. That my life is over. Done.
I never had kids so I don't know what this is like & it scares me to death.
I've been home for almost seven weeks and I haven't been out of a five mile radius since then.
I wasn't thinking of myself when this happened .. Who does?
Now it's sinking in. I really have no life now. Everything is centered around Ricky (for good reason) and I've slowly disappeared into the background.
I can be both. An introvert and an extrovert. But I like to choose. Not be told what to do. And at the moment I am being forced because I have no other choice.
You can't have friends because you can't keep up your end of the relationship. You can't go anywhere therefore no socializing at all.
I like privacy but didn't want to be a hermit....how I feel right now.
Plus the inevitable happened and I strained my back. Has to be from leaning over ... Normally how I hurt it... That's all we need.
We have no choice except for to roll with it. And that's what we do.
Oh! I desperately need someone to sit with Ricky for like an hour or two a week so I can get everything done in the "outside world"..... I don't need much time away and I wouldn't ever leave anyone with medical things to do on him. All you would have to do is talk to him if he's Chatty Cathy or he sleeps a lot so you can even take a nap.
Anyway let me know if anyone can help me out text me, email me or FB message me. Thanks in advance.
My list keeps getting longer 😱......
As always thanks everyone for the support and the donations. Both are much needed right now, & there aren't enough words to express our appreciation! 😍❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxoxo
https://www.gofundme.com/2a4dvu4
To help follow the link above. And please feel free to share the link. I desperately need the help right now. 😘😘
Thank all of youuuuuuuuu!! 💜💜💜 xoxo
About Joseph White and the cause he's running for ❤️❤️
https://give.reeve.org/fundraise?fcid=666761
Click the above link to donate.
http://podiumms.com/pages/2016-team-podium-joe-white
About Joe ~ read about him at the above link.
Extremely proud step mom!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍
This is Ricky's son by the way 😊😊
Click the above link to donate.
http://podiumms.com/pages/2016-team-podium-joe-white
About Joe ~ read about him at the above link.
Extremely proud step mom!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍
This is Ricky's son by the way 😊😊
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)